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I'm A 65-year-old Redhead – Guys Make Crude Comments And Say I'm 'not Bad For An Old Lady,' They Need To Grow Up

A FIERY redhead has shared the out-of-line comments she receives from guys — but only "boys," she clarifies, not men.

She doesn't let them phase her, though, and is simply putting them in their places.

A redhead woman has shared the concerning, crude comments she gets from menCredit: TIKTOK

Some of them say she's 'not bad for an old lady'Credit: TIKTOK

The daring redhead (@italiangurl28) sometimes takes to TikTok, posting videos showing off her stylish fits and flaunting her physique.

In a recent video, she had a word for men that she gets crude comments from.

"Some of the most romantic comments I receive (inject sarcasm)," she wrote.

She listed off some of the things that are said to her.

Among them were "you are so doable," "I would do you," "I would definitely bang you," "I can make you scream," and "you're so yummy."

And the comments didn't stop there.

Some people even told the redhead she wasn't "bad for an old lady."

She had an equally snarky remark for the people that say these things to her, writing: "So comical and obvious that they are boys, not men!"

Help! My Boyfriend Invited His Mother To Live With Us. This Is The Last Straw.

Photo illustration by Slate. Photo by PeopleImages/Getty Images Plus.

Dear Prudence is Slate's advice column. Submit questions here. (It's anonymous!)

Dear Prudence,

What's the most compassionate way to do a breakup that involves moving out when you don't feel very safe? I can't tell how much of this is in my head, but I do know I don't want to be in this relationship anymore. I (she/ her) and my boyfriend (he/him) have been together for two years, living together for 8 months. At first, we had insane chemistry and he made me laugh but things got rocky after we moved in together. He won't do any cooking/cleaning, and his sarcastic edgy streak got mean.

We'll have great times and then horrifying blowout arguments. I would have ideally left six months ago, but I was scared to break the lease and kind of scared to leave him. I've never had a great relationship with his mom, and he recently invited her to live with us (!) rent-free (!!) without asking me (!!!) "just to get back on her feet" after her recent breakup. This is the last possible straw for me: she's passive-aggressive and mean, and he never stands up for me.

We currently split this apartment 70/30—I make only slightly more than he does but he's very bad with money and spends paycheck to paycheck. If I leave, he will not be able to cover it. His mom is similar. I spoke to the landlord, and he'll let me out of the lease early, but I won't be able to afford any type of goodwill payment to help my ex because I'll need it for my own place. I've been quietly putting my valuables and most loved items at a friend's, but I need to get moving on signing my own lease for my own place. Most of our furniture, kitchenware, etc. Is mine too, and I'm really sentimental about it. I can't afford to replace it, but he can't either. What's the most compassionate way to get out here?

—Feeling Like the Grinch

Dear Feeling Like the Grinch,

This can be a really hard thing to get your head around, especially because of the many messed up messages society sends to women, but stay with me and try to let it sink in: You do not have to be nice to people who are mean to you. In fact, I'd go as far as to say you shouldn't be nice to people who are mean to you. Especially not when it means you will lose out or suffer as a result.

So, "What's the most compassionate way to get out here?" is a good question but I encourage you to change your focus. Instead of asking how you can be compassionate to two people who treat you terribly, ask how you can make this really difficult transition while offering compassion to yourself. How can you make it as seamless as possible? How can you make sure you're physically safe and safe from being verbally attacked or bullied? What support can you put in place to deal with the difficult feelings that come up when you're in a new environment? I'm very impressed by the steps you've already taken—moving your valuables to a friend's house and making arrangements with the landlord to get out of the lease.

Next, go ahead and find a new place. And at the beginning of the month before your new lease begins, go to your friend's house, while your boyfriend and his mom are out, with all of your clothes and personal items. Once you're safely there, tell him it's over because of the way he and your mom have been treating you. If you feel the need to explain yourself with specific examples about those awful fights and things he and his mother have said to you, put it in a letter. Let him know you'll be back in a couple of weeks to collect the rest of your stuff. That's enough warning. He can choose not to spend his whole paycheck on junk, and instead go to Goodwill to replace the silverware. When the lease ends, maybe he and his mom will have to stay with friends or relatives until they figure out their next step. That is okay. Your boyfriend has shown you that he's great at finding people to take care of him (or people to take advantage of) and he'll do it again, believe me. In any case, when these two started being mean to you, their lifestyle stopped being your problem. So show up with your friend and a couple of other people who make you feel safe to collect everything that's yours. Leave with everything that has sentimental or practical value to you and the satisfaction of knowing that you are a person who takes care of yourself before you take care of people who mistreat you.

Submit your questions anonymously here. (Questions may be edited for publication.) Join the live chat every Monday at noon (and submit your comments) here.

Dear Prudence,

I took on a major volunteer role with an organization in which my family participates. It has not been a positive experience, and I'm looking forward to unplugging from the job and the organization when my appointment term ends in a few weeks. However, a colleague and I were recently told that we "will have to" finish tying up some loose ends related to our work that will arise over the month or two following the end of our appointment. It is a significant amount of work, and by its nature, can't simply be completed on an earlier timeline. I responded with a simple, "Unfortunately, I'm not available after (scheduled end date)." Easy, right?

Except…I'm worried about my colleague, who will feel she owns this responsibility and will martyr herself to avoid letting down the organization. She's been a good collaborator, and very helpful to me on numerous occasions. I don't like the idea of dumping "my" entire share of the unfinished work in her lap. I wish I could just convince her to join me in setting a firm boundary, but I know that's not who she is. I don't feel I owe the organization anything beyond the timeline to which I originally committed, but what are my obligations to her?

Dear Beyond Burnout,

Is there anything you can do with your remaining time there to get her some extra support? Would the work lend itself to someone else stepping in to help tie things up? Could you recruit another capable volunteer?

If not, let it go. I know, that gives you a knot in your stomach, right? Of course it does. That's because you're the kind of person who takes on a major volunteer role, which means you probably care a lot about how other people are doing. But the discomfort doesn't mean you're making the wrong choice. Sometimes, having a boundary like this means dealing with the uncomfortable feelings that come along with it.

I do think you should share your thought process with your colleague, including your regret that she seems primed to take on all the extra work you'll leave behind. You may learn that she loves the cause and doesn't mind at all. If not, think of it this way: You're not supporting her by helping to tie up loose ends, but support can also look like setting a great example. One day in the future, she might decide to draw a line and refuse to do more than what she's obligated to do, and she will very likely use your script.

Dear Prudence,

I've completed a memoir of my early life and it's very good. My "A" group of supportive, been-there friends were either older or fell into poor health. All have passed away. My "B" group knows a different version of me, and they are horrified by my book. They've either gone silent or said they couldn't read it very far. I've asked each why their vital reviews weren't posted, and got comments like "triggering." Several people have said my story made them cry. To my horror, one's noped out of our nice friendship. I didn't factor in these results!

In mulling it over, it appears this group tried to do me a favor, "couldn't," and now see their task as over. I've spent all my non-rent money at this point, anticipating a payoff—and a platform to pitch my next installment to trade publishing. Should I send the readers a postcard with a QR code to my site? A longer letter, sharing what I've come up with here? Tell an agent my memoir's having this reaction, so, snap it up and get me an advance for the next part?

—No Bad Book Reviews

Dear No Bad Book Reviews,

Look for support for your literary aspirations outside of your existing friend circle. Join a writing group. Several writing groups. Go on writers' retreats and meet other memoirists. Start following authors on social media. Support the work of everyone you meet, and then ask them to do the same for you. And remember, being an author is hard. And success can be kind of random. It's great that you're doing work that you're proud of, but the reviews and sales aren't the only measure of whether it is meaningful.

A couple of weeks ago our 18-year-old son had a newer friend, "Ben," over for the weekend. We had already begun to suspect there might be more than friendship to this relationship, and unbeknownst to our son, my husband caught the boys fooling around in the hot tub one night during Ben's visit. We haven't spoken to our son about this because we do not want to make him uncomfortable about his sexuality.

Little Things About Australian Culture That Might Surprise You

By Burtland Dixon of Explored Planet Slide 1 of 25: Can you imagine a world where all the cultures had the same reactions and tendencies? It just wouldn't be a fun place to be, right? Australia's culture is one where the people have a ton of unique habits and sayings. For instance, did your culture eat Devon and tomato sauce in primary school? If you don't know what that is, learn about that and more ahead.

Can you imagine a world where all the cultures had the same reactions and tendencies? It just wouldn't be a fun place to be, right?

Australia's culture is one where the people have a ton of unique habits and sayings. For instance, did your culture eat Devon and tomato sauce in primary school? If you don't know what that is, learn about that and more ahead.

30 Best Peace Quotes - Quotes and Sayings About Peace and ...

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